| The Damocles Plan is
basically a contract between the parent(s) and the teen(s), with rewards
and punishments for acceptable and unacceptable behavior, as defined
by the parent(s). The teen in question has NO INPUT into those
definitions, so it is less a "contract" than a set of "declarations" to
the teen.
The suggested time to
implement The Plan is shortly after the teen has gotten his/her learner's
permit to drive, although that is only a suggestion. If your
teen is younger than that, can read English fairly well and doesn't have
diagnosable psychological difficulties, you might find it useful to implement
it earlier.
The first goal of The
Plan is for the teen to understand the difference between his/her RIGHTS
and his/her PRIVILEGES. RIGHTS are food, shelter,
clothing and education ONLY, and are required by federal and state laws.
PRIVILEGES, on the other hand, are granted by the parent(s) and may be
withdrawn at any time for any cause, reasonable or not.
Since this plan is only
implemented with a spoiled teen, the first step is the threat of
withdrawal of ALL privileges at a point in the future that is not so far
away that it loses its intimidation value, nor so close that the teen has
no chance to reduce it. In The Damocles Plan, we use a 60-day withdrawal
of privileges commencing eight weeks (actually 59 days) from the date you
start the plan. We refer to the eight weeks as "Probation."
You
may also consider using a 30-day withdrawal of privileges and a four-week
(actually 31 days) start date; it's the same plan, same documents (except
it's a one-page scoresheet instead of two), but you simply compress the
process.
Based on the teen's behavior
in his or her "Probation," the term of punishment (which we call a "Sentence")
may be reduced for "extra credit" behavior or increased for each instance
of unacceptable behavior on a daily basis. (Since the teen is probably
quite expert at manipulation and avoiding personal responsibility, we've
built in several safeguards to defuse that behavior, as well as other common
reactive behaviors.)
Based on the plan's structure
and human nature, we seriously doubt that ANY teen will be able to reduce
the sentence to zero days. But getting it down to around ten days
is pretty good, in our estimation, and the teen should then be able to
serve the sentence with a clear understanding of why it's being applied
and should tolerate it quite well. (Of course, the teen whose sentence
is still in excess of 30 days or so will NOT tolerate it well, but we've
built in some safeguards for that, as well.)
The Plan also has built-in
safeguards for the expected backlash in the first week or so after you
start The Plan.
But now let's look at
the story of Damocles, so you'll know a bit more about the underlying motivational
constructs of The Plan.
|