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Relationship Coach Newsletter #15 - 8/20/01
Relationship Truths
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This week I pondered the many lessons and concepts my clients and I have learned during my coaching career. Before long, I had compiled a useful list of important and valuable relationship truths. If you apply any one of these truths, you are certain to see an immediate improvement in the quality of your relationships. Please take what applies to you and incorporate it into your life to create a relationship you cherish. 
  • It's your job to educate your partner about how to treat you so you feel loved. 
  • Communication doesn't mean talking. It means sharing. 
  • Infidelity is the surest way to destroy a relationship. 
  • Generosity is rarely about money or things. It's mostly about heart. 
  • Until you resolve your past, you are not free to have a future. 
  • What people do to you is rarely about you and is almost always about their unresolved past. Don't take it personally. 
  • Until you realize that a great relationship is created by who you are, you won't have one. 
  • Until you love yourself enough to take care of your needs, no one else will. 
  • If you feel empty, a relationship will most likely make you feel even emptier. 
  • Compassion for your partner goes a long way in getting what you want. 
  • Sexual intimacy has very little to do with attractiveness and everything to do with emotional intimacy and trust. 
  • Women rarely appreciate money and assistance as a substitute for emotional intimacy. 
  • If your partner continuously says, "There is nothing wrong with me. Our problems are all your fault," get help. 
  • This is not a dress rehearsal - this is your life and your relationships in progress. Start creating your life the way you want it to be today. 
  • You are not your parents. There is no reason your relationship or life should look like theirs. 
  • It's much easier to be yourself than to be what you think others want you to be. 
  • Even when someone loves you more than life itself, they will still look out for their interests first. 
  • Being a people-pleaser is not an effective way to create good relationships. It is an effective way to get taken advantage of. 
  • If you always take care of someone, you take away their power. They will resent you for it. 
  • Supporting men financially takes away their self esteem. Give them moral support instead. 
  • The best relationships are partnerships. 
  • If you get to be right most of the time and make your partner take all of the blame, you will end up alone. 
  • A relationship with a foundation of dishonesty is like a house of cards. 
  • Grass only looks greener on the other side. 
  • You may secretly wonder if there isn't a better partner out there. This is your mind's way of communicating that you are dangerously close to real intimacy with your current partner. 
  • If your partner says he is willing to grow and change, don't test him. Support him in his commitment. 
  • Emotional maturity is knowing when you are overreacting. Stop and take care of your needs so you can get back in balance. 
  • What you think you want is often not what you really want, but rather a sideways plot to get your needs met. 
  • If you ask, very often you will receive. 
  • Communication means two-way understanding, not one-way accusing.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2001. This article was originally published by 
Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries in the Relationship Coach Newsletter, 
one of many relationship resources you can find at www.WhatItTakes.com. 
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